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Johannesburg, SA – Controversy reigned this week as a school in Gauteng announced further cuts to its rugby programme in order to enhance its already bloated cultural department.

Puedam High School Headmaster Tom Arnold confirmed that in addition to the fully equipped recording studio completed last year, construction had already begun on the new performing arts auditorium. “This will be a state of the art facility with dance studio, classrooms, set design workshop, and two fully equipped stages that wouldn’t look out of place in the West End.” Arnold boasted.

Unfortunately the space required means that the already beleaguered rugby team loses the last of its outer fields leaving only the one main pitch for all eight of its teams to play and practice on. When questioned about the necessity of a second stage, Director of Theatre Victor Richardson explained that professional rehearsal…